Tony Hawk ruined my morning.

This morning my son woke me at 6:15 am.  Ell was in her room, awake, and playing in her crib.  She would have been content there for quite some time, but Tyger, in addition to being a chatterbox, is LOUD now.

And I'm pretty sure he is trying to turn me into a raving lunatic.

He was nice, and came in quietly, and whispered to wake me up.  He wanted to watch tv in his room.  Then, he heard Ell in her room, and decided he could watch tv downstairs. My first thought, was that he had peed his pants, because it was early, and he is not usually an early riser.  Nah, he just wanted to watch tv.

So much for sleep.
I get up, and Tyler starts talking---naturally.  It's what he does.
Ellie hears him, and starts to get mad, because, heaven forbid she miss ANYthing.  I go to get her, and she greets me with a big smile.  (That's about my favorite part of the day. Although Tyler whispering me awake today was very sweet.)  
I turn on the tv, find Little Einsteins on, and fix a bottle for Frankenstein.  We sit; she eats.  Then into the exersaucer.  Tyler digs in the fridge awhile and comes back with some string cheese.  For breakfast?  Really, kid?  Ellie sees him eating, and wants some, because she can't be left out.
Boom.  Cheerios.
I go make her some baby food sludge, which I proceed to messily shove down into the child's bottomless pit. Annnnnnd naptime.  

Oh, but we're not done.  Tyler wants to play "Tony Hawks" on his DS, but he can't find the game. Oh, really?  There's this tiny little thing that you are supposed to keep track of and you lost it?  How did that happen?  Where could it be?

I'm sure it's in his room somewhere, so I send him upstairs to look for it.  I use the term "look" very loosely.  When he looks for something, anywhere, but especially in his room, he stands in one spot and looks at the ground in one spot.  And then he yells down to me that he can't find it.  Doesn't matter what "it" is.  This time it was the Tony Hawk game.

I go up to the boy's domain, with Ellie, and look for it.  Not very hard, mind you, but I do look for it.
A little.
No dice on Tony, so we head back down to do other things which annoy me.

Since Tony Hawk is lost, Tyler has decided to play Carnival Games.  I like Carnival Games.  But, there are a few problems with the DS today.


The main problem is TYLER CAN'T READ AND FUCKS THINGS UP.


He wants me to help him create a new character, but I can't read it, because Tyler changed the language to Spanish.  You know what I'm thinking?  How in the fark am I going to change it back?  I can barely read Spanish, so the menu doesn't make sense, and the game does not have any sort of language option anyway.

Once again, I send Tyler upstairs to find something.  I want the box the game came in, so I can see the directions to fix the language. I know it is in his room, on top of his dresser. This I tell him. Twice.  
He goes up.  Two seconds and, "Mom, I can't find it."  "It's on top of your dresser.  The case the game came in."  ------------silence.  "Mom, I can't find it."  Urghhhhhhh......

I go upstairs, and I'm irritated now.  He is standing by his closet.  Exactly where he was standing when he was "looking" for the Tony Hawk game.  The dresser is on the other side of the room.  I go over to the dresser and pick up the case.  It was exactly where I said it was, in plain sight.  Underneath his tv remote.  Which he USES every day.
It is becoming increasingly apparent that 4 year-olds (kids in general?) don't pay enough attention to find things.  He didn't even know what he was looking for, because he didn't listen to anything I said.  I really don't know why he even went upstairs, because he hadn't a clue what he was supposed to get.
Back downstairs we go, Carnival Game case, Ellie, Tyler and me.
I read the directions.  All of them.
Nothing about language.  I did find a new carnival game to play though.
But I still don't know how to change it back to English.  

Tech savvy mom that I am, I realize the DS itself must have settings you can change, so I remove the game and proceed to read Spanish like I know what I'm doing.  Finally found the language option.  Its icon was a globe.  I won't even tell you how many other icons I looked at before the globe.
I also had to fix the date, re-enter Tyler's name, delete some other stuff he entered, recalibrate the touch screen, and put it on auto mode so he doesn't have a chance to access the settings menus upon startup.  Will this fix the problem?
NO.  BECAUSE HE CAN'T READ.


Poop and Boogers for today:
As of 9:30 am, there is nothing to report on poop and boogers.  No one has any.......yet.
But, they both have eaten, so it won't be long.